Delight Yourself

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Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.

-Psalm 37:3-5

I remember sophomore year of college my best friend and I committed to follow this verse with our lives and hold each other accountable. It’s easy to read this and expect that God owes us something because we are obedient to Him. It’s really saying that delighting in God each moment of each day should be the focus of our lives. And that when we live in such a way, He will provide us with not just what we need, but things we desire as well. And this does not mean He will magically give me a new car, or new shoes. The more we walk with God, the more our hearts desire things He wants.

Delight is defined as great pleasure or joy. I view this as spending time with the Father each day, each moment acknowledging His spirit, seeing Him work, and thanking Jesus for everything.

Now, I cannot say I always do this. I have spent a good amount of the last few months feeling frustrated or angry with God. He knew my heart for Baltimore city and my love for kids, and my skills in research. But why wasn’t he giving me a job? I got mixed advice from people. Some telling me to apply to any job and get my start in a nursing home or hospital just to get some experience. Others said to wait on God’s perfect timing and that when He brings something, it will be better than I ever imagined. I hated hearing both of those things. I knew in my heart I could not spend another year of my life in a hospital, but I also didn’t think I would be one of those lucky people to get my “dream job.”

I get a lot of fulfillment from work in general and I view it as a very spiritual experience. I’m currently reading Every Good Endeavor by Tim Keller so there will be a future post about that! But I knew that if God wanted me to stay here, He had to provide a job. I doubted myself and God many times and started looking into opportunities all over the country and world. But my heart was not in the right place. While I love traveling and I feel that sometime in the future God will use me in that way, my motivation was bitterness. I was thinking, “Ok God if you won’t give me what I want, I’ll just up and leave.” The problem is, no matter where I escaped to, my heart would still be in the ugly state that it was.

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I finally came to peace about everything one day when I was house sitting earlier this month. There is something about being away, even just out of your routine and away from distractions that gives you clarity. I realized that I was seeking a job to define who I was, thinking that my life would start once I had a job or a steady paycheck. The same way a month earlier, I was hoping passing my RD exam would define give me fulfillment. I was feeling like a failure and feeling completely useless and sorry for myself. I was wasting time I could be using to invest in relationships, start new hobbies, be present and serve others. I realized I had been given the gift of time, and I wanted to use it well. I made up my mind that day to practice my baking skills, start a blog which has been a longtime dream of mine, take some classes to learn more about human trafficking domestically, and take steps to get licensed in Maryland to do private practice nutrition counseling. I had put that off for a while, since I had times of doubting whether I wanted to stay in Maryland. I realized at least for now, God had me in Maryland and for a reason, so it was my job to be present here, until He called me elsewhere.

I was reminded that my purpose in life has NOTHING to do with being a dietitian or having a job. God just simply asks us to know Him and help others to do the same.

Now here is the part of the story with the big announcement. That very same day, I got a call from a former colleague asking if I wanted a job. We had a conversation about a month before about some opportunities through her friend, but she never followed up with me. I almost did not apply. It looked like something I was overqualified for and I never heard back so I kind of forgot about it anyway. She said her friend was asking about me and they wanted an RD for the position, but could not find my application. She said that she would give her my cell number to set up an interview. I could not believe it. All the hard work and stress was for nothing, a reminder that it’s never about my own strength or efforts. Here was something falling right into my lap! I still did not get my hopes up and I did not have a ton of information.

I got a call the next day from HR to set up the interview. In my research and preparation, I realized this was my dream job. It combined everything I have ever wanted to do. Kids check, childhood obesity check, policy check, research check, food insecurity check, working with people check, not in a hospital check, prevention check, Baltimore city check, department of international health check.

I had a feeling deep down that this was the one I had been waiting for and a peace that I have not felt with any other job or opportunity. God’s timing is really is perfect. I still tried to play it cool and did not want to jinx it. It had to be too good to be true. I didn’t even tell my parents until I was selected as the “top candidate.” I got my official offer letter yesterday, so I figured it was safe to share with the blogging world. I will be working as a Research Program Assitant II in a Childhood Obesity Center. It’s not glamorous by any means. I’ll be driving around low-income neighborhoods interviewing families and doing diet recalls, but I can’t wait!! I could not have picked a better job myself.

Thanks for hanging in there for this long post. I just wanted to share everything to be real about my struggles and show how God has been working in all of this 🙂
Gratefully yours,
Cara
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